Amandolyn

In Case You Didn't Know...

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 16:41:16 GMT

This journal is now

PRIVATE

[Yes, that means friends only]
Add me, i'll add you back.

I have a new plan...

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 21:53:54 GMT

My new plan is to lose as much weight as i possibly can.
Since i've been here, here being Mississippi,
i've lost lots o' weight comparing to last year's one hundred and sixty-something pounds.
Im down to about one fourty-nine right now, it feels good.
My pants are baggier on me and my belts are loose...
and im on the smallest belt hole for some of my belts now.
No more beefaronie, cookies or brownies.... lol.
Let's hope this actually works out.
Maybe more people will actually like me.

happiness destroyed:

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 23:07:28 GMT

So, like about 45 minutes or so ago i found out this kid named Ryan that i knew had gotten into a car accident with his dad
A drunk driver hit them around 3am this morning and is dad died instantly, the drunk driver died a few hours afterwards.
He's had a few brain surgeries, some of his organs are swelled, he has a punctured lung and a broken leg.
He's in a coma right now and the docter says he'll stay in it for 3 days, or wants him to anyway.
They don't know what else to do so i guess they're gonna wait and see if he get's better.
I feel really bad for him, ofcourse. he doesn't deserve any of this.
He's had such a hard life already... it's sad
No one know's what's gonna happen.
I just hope he'll be ok.

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 20:06:17 GMT

Im actually pretty happy today considering that things could be much better.
I left my iPod on while i was going to sleep since i've wanted to do that for a while now,
i had some strange dreams.
I had a dream i was still living in new jersey and i went to timmy's house
and we hungout with someone else there and we did weird things outside.
Like really random things, it didn't make any sense of what we were doing.
Maybe it's just because i miss living on pennsylvania, in new jersey.
I also had another dream but i can't remember what it was about.
I kept waking up every hour or so to a random song playing into my ears
until it finally started to annoy me and i turned it off a little before 4.
I think the last song playing was something by underoath, i could be wrong.
I think there's a boy.. well, he isn't a boy anymore...
that i keep thinking about. i don't know him, like at all.
He lives in a different state and is older than me and knows not a thing about me.
We've talked, like once or twice... he seems really sweet though.
I think im trying to replace him with this new guy, that has to be why.
I always told myself i wanted to just forget him but now that im starting to finally do just that,
i don't want to forget him now replace him with someone else.
I think it's because somewhere in my head i know there will never be someone that i will have such strong feelings for like i did for him.
Doesn't that just suck?
Well, maybe this will be better.

oooooohhhhhh winterrrrrrrr.

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 23:59:20 GMT

So, i read a book[ i guess a novel, technically] in 6 days.
It probably would have taken my like 4 if i had read it everyday.
Yea, so that means it was good... because i NEVER read.
And now i want the whole series for christmas. =D
It's freezing here, well not exactly.
It's in the 40's....... pretty cold.
I LOVE IT!
I got to wear my coat out again, love that too!
My sister gave me some weird capris with zebra print and i tried them
on before and put my green zebra print top on with my purple heels.
Looooks grrrreat.
It's funny how people miss things that they know is morally wrong.
Like being a secret... secret stuff..... funnn. Isn't it odd though?
Having nostalgia about it and ish... ugh.
MMMMMMM i <3 my lyrics.
Music saves lives, literally.
...except britney spears... that's another story.
I miss my peoples in florida, like jamie and emily
yuh when i get back im making sure i get to see them.
and then try to convince "them" not to move.

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 20:40:12 GMT

So this weekend is going to be filled...
We went to walmart at 10-ish this morning.
My sister needed makeup for halloween.
I got a candy bag and fake eyelashes.
Then we went to save alot or whatever it is...
alot of odd people there.
My sister just left to pickup olivia...
later tonight we're going to a hockey game
the riverkings.. yea... i've never seen them before.
That should be fun...... and cold.
The tomorrow i think we're going somewhere
and sunday we're going somewhere for some halloween thing
then me and my sister are supposed to be going to memphis
and seeing an ocala band, A Day To Remember to be exact.
Im really tired and i haven't eaten yet all day. I don't know what i want.
Last night we had to go to olivias church for her class thing for communion
I get bored easily being there since im not religious really,
and i have not a clue nor an interest in what they're babbling about,
so i read a book i got from the library around here instead.
I want to do something to olivia's hair, she said i can one morning or whenever.
It's hard to do anything when she has such thick and oily hair though, oh well.
OK they're back... hmmmmmmm
I hear a assload of kids yelling outside, if they come here again my head is going to explode.
and if that little girl asks me were i got an item of clothing im wearing[for the 5th time] im going to ignore her.
These kids around here... they're fucking evil.
=|

cirvca survive

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:40:45 GMT

It came across like you were mad
Holding in your breath with everything you had Until you face began to turn red
“This is why I turn and walk away from everything”, I need to feel it closer now
…and I never thought it would be like this
“Between the seal a church is revealed and I would rather be lonely along the way”.
Something set us off into the wrong direction but within this particular space,
time Goes to waste.
And time starts to slow down and all of these patterns never change
So slow down, because nobody looks at life the same
And no one was like this ‘Til you came along And reset our dials wrong.

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 19:03:28 GMT

Don't give in...
don't give into things you don't need.
Being persuaded by manipulative people to get what they want out of life...
don't fall under.
Those people have their charm so that no one fights back.
It's pure entertainment for them, for their benefit... or so they think.
How it works...
You meet them they use their charm and their lies so you think their innocent and real.
Then they try to make you give in even though you know you shouldn't but you do anyway,
because they persuade you to make it seem like it's alright... but it isn't.
And so you do nothing about it because you don't know what to do.
You don't know what is real, because of their lies are covered in lies
and those lies are all covered in charm.
You get confused and then they pin you down because to them you're "weak".
Those manipulative people will lie about someone else so that they get the upper hand in life.
Always, they will use and abuse the people that think they are that persons friend.
They blindside them.
Those people think that life and the relationships you're supposed to build are all a game.
They think they can come and go and do whatever they please to whoever they please.
What they don't get is that when they think they've finally won, they have nothing left...
they get their payback or karma or whatever people would say, and they become miserable.
Then they regret it all and wish to take it back or apologize,
but no one will hear it... no one will care.
When that person finally loses it all, no one cares.
When that person finally dies, no one cares.
It might sound fucked up, but that's what they are.

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 20:32:49 GMT

So, people might have a problem with me for various thing.
Like holly, she got all whiny about me talking to emily.
She has a problem with emily, but i do'nt..
that means that it shouldn't matter if i talk to her or not.
It's not like i talked about holly and stupid shit with emily
i can care less what holly did with louis and whatever else that happened... really
What she doesn't realize is that herself and emily put me in a hard place..
by telling me things about eachother and then asking me to tell them when the other was talking about the other but not tell the other one what they say.[if you understand what i mean]
DO YOU REALIZE HOW HARD THAT IS?!
they both told me crap and they both wanted to know crap...
sometimes i told them neither of them said anything about it because i didn't want the bickering.
Now emily has no problems about me if i was still talking to holly.. she doesn't care.
but holly is so freaking immature about it, it's unreal. She needs to grow up, she thinks she has... but she certainly hasn't.
I have nothing against holly, but this whole thing is just retarded.
Anyway, i noticed i haven't talk to many people at all, maybe 2 or 3 since i've been here.
Some have told me they'd call... they didn't.
Well, that's they're fault... they lie. =)
yea, i have no friends... i don't care anymore.
Also, my dad wants to move.. again.
Im not gonna. either they let me stay with someone in florida, who im NOT related to orr
they let me stay with my sister.. i guess.
But im NOT moving again, especially to georgia or north carolina or where ever they had said.

Say what?

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 11:15:05 GMT

You hate me?
That's cool, but you're an idiot.
I hate your ugly fat ass too. =D
You should definitely be ashamed of yourself.

Ok im going to get ready to leeeeave.
woo!!!

We turn out hate in factories.

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 06:55:30 GMT

You know what?
The Scientist is a sad song.
Yea, Coldplay puts me in a down mood.
So does Snow Patrol.
Oh well.
So, i tried this thing i found out about in a community,
where you listen to these audio files and their named as various drugs
and feelings and they make you feel "high" and whatever else.
When you download it you get 2 for free but you have to buy the rest.
I tried the alcohol one and it did absolutely nothing.
Basically a bunch of static and a ringing noise for a half hour.
Each "drug" is like atleast 3 dollars and you can only use it once, i think.
THOSE BASTARDS! SCAMMING PEOPLE LIKE THAT! =|
Um yea... anyway.
Tomorrow!
I leave!

So, it's odd...
everyday i get up and i see a record on my floor,
Against a bunch of things in the corner.
I hate looking at it... but it stands out.
I had it up for about a month on my wall.
It reminds me of things and now it's tainted,
my love for the artist of the record...
Which would be Nine Inch Nails.
Why he even got it for me, i have the slightest clue.
They were my favorite band then and he knew that...
And someone getting me something like that,
considering no one has ever gave something like that for me ever,
it kind of means something to me.
The fact that someone would spend money for something they know i wouldn't "need"
although, something they knew i would really love, yea... i don't know.
But the fact that he could care less about anything, it kills it all.
That alone makes me not want it anymore...
Fuck liars. Fuck "friends".
I'll never know if what he ever said was real and true
or something he made up because that's what i wanted to hear.
I don't know what were lies and what was the truth.
Well, this post turned into something just lovely.
Whatever, this is me being real so it doesn't matter.

I'll leave the end with some lyrics from a song i like.
It's by Circa Survive...
if you don't know the title but want to,
you can go ahead and look it uo yourself.

"If I could get this feeling to end
With trembling idle hands holding me there
We laugh in the face of love
Cause nobody's really there
Nobody's real"

My back is dying.

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 03:12:01 GMT

HULLO!!!
I need more songs,
still.
Oh well.
I keep putting everything off.
I haven't cleaned my room or packed much.
NOTTTTTTT GOOOOOOOOOD.
Maybe i'll do some more in a few.
or
[Harass!]
lmao, not.

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 20:35:00 GMT

Im gonna start packing today!
This is exciting. yea.
So, i was thinking...
im gonna block her before i leave,
so she can't comment on here. =)
I don't need her whiny comments while im out of state.
Hmm, im trying to look up more songs.
I NEED MORE SONGS!!!
Just not pop...
and not rap...
and no shitty singers who lip sync and shave their heads.
LOL.

funnnn.

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 23:39:47 GMT

I really can't wait for saturday.
Now my sister wants to go to St. Louis...
so now im going to 3 places..yea.
And one of my friends wants me to color her hair when i get back.
That's kind of exciting because i've only done 2 other peoples hair so far.
WOO!!!
and i've decided im going to stay with my sister after thanksgiving.
That'll be fun.
=)

iWant.

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 08:38:15 GMT

I want this.
=)

preeeeeeetteeeeee.
now, i just need to find gloves...
the only ones i found online are fingerless.
that isn't gonna help me much with the snow.

O Rly?

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 20:38:30 GMT

I JUST GOT BACK FROM JAMIE'S HOUSE!
and some other peoples were there, lol.
it was quite fun, wooo!
we all went outside and it started raining..
like, alot. and we were soaked. =D
...OH ANNNNND..
we were watching some chris crocker videos earlier today...
he's a fucking nut, and EXTREMELY annoying...
just like someone else i know.
hmmmmmmmmmm.

use protection ;-)

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 04:31:04 GMT

My sister wants me to stay till after thanksgiving.
they're going to indiana for it and she wants me to see snow.
=) i like snow.. but i don't know the people they're staying with.
so... that might be a little strange for me.
and i really hope i don't get a cold, PLEEEEASE NO.
um, my mom said she was thinking of getting me a car for when i get my permit.
a mitsubishi sports car... just like the one dougie had. the eclipse.
i have no idea why that one but... i'll accept it. =)
as long as i don't get a mini van or like some mini van/car/truck thing...
ever see those..? they're ugly as FUCK. =| so, that's a no for them.
mmmm i still need to learn to drive...
i can bet my sister is gonna try to teach me again. =|
in her... mini van.... oh no. =(

winter's coming!
HOORAYY!!

haha.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 19:16:27 GMT

Give your boyfriend a blowjob.
Don't be a prude. =)
Tis all i gotta say.

Reality.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 01:20:19 GMT

I love those meatless burgers.
Hooray for healthiness!!
Yea, so right now im just waiting for The Hills to get on.
Which will be in about an hour.
Yea, i know.. it's weird that someone like me enjoys that show.
To be honest, i liked the first two seasons of Laguna Beach too.
None of my other friends like either of them... oh well. I like them.

So, i've realized i've changed alot since manchester.
I have more opinions on things that really matter...
like the world in general.
From global warming[yea, it kind of matters to me believe it or not]
to our government down to policies and our society and all that.
Alot of it makes me mad and how people are so careless about
things that don't have to do with money or other "benefits".
That's what they only care about.
I've had these thoughts for some time but i never really talked about them.
Usually because no one else i talk to talks about it or brings it up.
There is alot more to it about my opinions and everything.
And i wouldn't doubt it that it would surprise people that i care...

Alot of people who think they know me... i don't think they do.
So, to the people who don't know me that well or might think they do,
the people who only talked to me in a class or "learned" info. about me
either through a boyfriend, a friend or through some lame rumor,
to the ones who truly believe they have me figured out...
[this most definitely includes the rude girls]
You're entirely wrong... and i can guarantee it.
Don't Judge. Don't hate. You have absolutely no valid reason to do either.

swerk;lk

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 00:14:53 GMT

Yea, i feel pretty damn good.
So, yesterday we went ti inverness and went to Kmart.
afterwards i had to go to sally's to get more bleach and toner and developer.
Thennnnn we went to ocala to the mall to sears for some vaccuum thing.
and we went to El Toreo for an early dinner, i <3 that place. Mmm mexican food.
LOL
anyway then we went to Sam's Club and my feet were starting to hurt...
i wore my sneaker heels, haha.
Today i didn't do alot.
My mom ordered the pink plain pants i wanted from hot topic and the sunglasses.
WOOOOOOOO!!!! new clothes!!
I decided to bleach my hair tonight, and then i toned it.
It's basically platinum now. =D
Im happppyyyyyyyyyy with it.
Anyway i can't wait for mississippi, if people haven't noticed.
Im most likely going to a concert to see Sparta, Alice in Chains and Velvet Revolver.
That should be fun.
Yeeea, i have some hydrating conditioner in my hair to make it feel soft....
haha. i neeed it.

There's a thing they need to learn.

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 18:46:00 GMT

So, like i said in my other journal...
I don't care what colin or ashley says,
im not going to tell my "people" to not do anything.
And im not telling them specifically to do anything either.
Get over it. =)

Anyway.
Nicole's birthday is coming and i neeeed to get her something!
so pick something out soon, nicole. lol.
Im not even gonna be here for it since im leaving the day before, eep.
Which reminds me, i need to make sure i get all my clothes cleaned.
I need to get bags for packing and whatever else.
WOO, i can't wait!!

Heytherrrr

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:45:10 GMT

Im feeling pretty good.
I've been talking to people more now and it's nice.
Although i haven't heard from emily in a while .....
her myspace was deleted so im kinda concerned.
I just hope she's doing fine.
Mmmyea, I've got some advice for Colin and Ashley.
Watch your back, seriously.
There are people looking to make sure you
"get what you deserve".
Anyway, Britney Spears and her VMA "performance"...
Oh shit, that was fucking terrible.
I don't see how people idolize her, she's an idiot.
I don't idolize "celebrities". I can't stand them.

Now time for my "rant". Don't like it? Fuck off.
People need to realize there is more to life....
there are so many other things people could be doing other
then trying to become famous and having "the latest gossip".
The only people i like who could ever be considered "celebrities"
are people from bands, BUT not the ones in the media all the time.
Like to me, i'd be able to look up to Anthony Green or Craig Owens.
I love their music/bands and their voices and they seem like kind people.
Plus they seem real and they play their music because it's their passion.
They don't care how much money they make off of an album,
They don't go out and buy cars and designer clothing, no.
They make the music because they love it and so do their fans.
Which brings me to my next topic, Fall Out Boy and Pete Wentz.
Just about every single band that is signed on their record label try to
convince their fans to help boost them up in ratings
that have to do with MTV or tv in general JUST for the money.
Pete Wentz keeps on getting involved in things that get him paid.
Example: clothing lines, collaborations with A-listers, his relationship AND
that HE is usually infront of the rest of the band members in promo shots
even though he isn't the actual "lead singer", tell me that isn't fucked up.
Oh and i forgot to mention how he uses his "body"...
like those picture people had of him and his penis that were all over.
He's one fucked up person and people say he's an asshole when they met him.
Ok so. Im done for now, this was only a little bit of MY opinion about this.
There will be more. About politics, people, school, and jealous girls....=)

mmyea

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:40:52 GMT

Man, that willy mammoth has gotta leave me alone.
And if that don't happen.... well, you know. ;-)
They're getting what they deserve, i already know.
Unknown sources have told me what's down. =D

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 13:43:13 GMT

Um, no they didn't "win".
But ok.........
Colin Toney is still a two-faced scum bag.
and Ashley Trigin is a huge willy mammoth.
...well, it's true.
=)

honestly...

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 11:41:47 GMT

Im getting really tired of colin...
I really am.
Just like when he told me he was sick of me
and never wanted to talk to me ever again...
well, i feel the same way towards him.
He should stick to what he said about not talking to me
and just leave me the fuck alone, i don't need it.
I've been happier since we stopped talking and all.
If he keeps emailing me saying i need to give him money,
im going to tell him to meet me to give it to him
but end up punching him in the face instead.
That's the only thing im going to give him,
he deserves nothing else.
Anyway, im watching Saved By The Bell...
I watch it like every single day, lol.
Hm, i think i need hair bleach soon. =D
I want to re-bleach it before i go away.
Oh yea, im going to Mississippi next month.
I'll be gone for about a month, im excited.
I really have been waiting a while to get away.
After all that drama with those dramatic people,
it really drove me insane and i wanted to leave...
and now i am. I really need it.
Ok, im gonna go watch the rest.